reflecting

reflecting on the deaths of my chickens -

i've been amazed at the number of people who care.  thank you for loving me and my chickens by extension.

thank you, meena, for the flowers and friendship.

it's been hard to take.  the volume of loss was so great - Nine lost.  (eight found, still no sign of luna.)

that night andy and i both noted how small chickens look when they are dead.  i believe all things look smaller when life and spirit are gone.  but as i lifted each bird i was surprised by how heavy she felt in death. 

children are morbidly curious about death and dead animals.  the neighbor kids helped my sons search the yard for a long time on sunday.  they are the ones who found clementine.  they didn't seem as bothered by it as i was - they are very matter-of-fact.   asher told me he would be fine as long as we found one living chicken.  "i don't need all of them anyway" he said.   quinn walked around saying "chickens, chickens..."  calling for them in his little voice.  greyson said we'll need to get more chickens as soon as possible because the backyard just isn't as much fun without them.

 

the flooding rains that came early this week were a gift.  we tried, but we could not pick up all the feathers in the yard.  they blew and scattered and clung to trees and i couldn't look outside without seeing them.  the rain weighed them down, washed them away.  the yard looks clean.  i kept a very small handful of shiny tail feathers in a tiny juice glass on my window sill.

venus is the light in this.   i am so glad to have her back in her coop.  so happy to have her to continue my routine of checking in on the coop in the mornings, bringing kitchen scraps in the afternoon, and locking up at night.

venus is not herself.  rightly so.  she is timid, spending little time outside of her hen house.  when i did coax her out into the sunshine, for a few minutes, she didn't go more than 5 feet from her coop.  she has not been laying and the tips of her comb have a purplish tint which (i read) can be a sign of stress, injury, or poor circulation.

all of her tail feathers and "fluffy butt" feathers are missing.  her bare little rear is a strange sight.  but i am grateful she isn't more hurt.  she does have a bite mark on her back that i hadn't noticed at first. it seems to be healing already.  and she's missing another big patch of feathers across her back and side.  all signs of how close her close call really was. she is either a very smart or very lucky chicken.

one chicken is a very lonely thing.