lost two babies.

last night i spent a long, quiet time sitting on my sunroom floor holding a baby bird as she took her last breaths.  i don't know when, but somewhere along the way my thoughts changed from "come on baby, you are strong, you can do it"  to "it's okay.  let go."  and finally she did.   she curled inwards, took in a deep breath and then stretched out her small body as long and wide as it could go - the way you might stretch when you climb in bed for the night.  though her eyes had been closed all day, she opened them and looked right at me.  they slowly closed again as the breath and life seeped out of her.  life is magic.  and there was a moment when i felt that magic as it left her little body resting in my hand.

all life is noble. and every death is sad. 

we had two deaths this weekend.  the little wyandotte i knew was struggling.  the other was the marans - a shock.  she was fine and then the next time i looked in on them, she was dead.  gone before i had the chance to try to save her.  that is the way things are sometimes.

raising chickens is not for the feint of heart, i've found. 

goodbye clementine.

devastated

it's been a long while since i posted.  i hate it when bloggers say that.  

this blog is my "fun" and i always tell myself that i have to get my work done before i can edit and post photos for myself.   i've been doing a lot of work (photography -- my real work)  lately and it seems i am never caught up.  so my flash cards are full of photos of my life, my boys, and my chickens that have not been posted.  may i learn this lesson.

tonight seven of my chickens were killed by loose neighbor dogs.  we were out having an early dinner and we returned home to a back yard that looked like a massacre.  feathers and lifeless chickens everywhere.  

seven are dead.  three are missing.  tonight my coop is empty.

i am sad.  that isn't enough.  but it is true in its simplicity.  it seems silly to some people how much i enjoy my chickens.  so it will be silly to some how sad i am at their loss. i loved them in all of their chicken-ness (thanks joel salatin for that perfect sentiment). 

i worked so hard to educate myself about chickens, raise them from tiny chicks, make a home for them, care for them each day, nurse them through wounds.  i gave them a happy, simple, peaceful world to live in.  i am just devastated that they met such a violent end.  i let them down.  

tonight i lifted and carried each dead hen to her resting place.  through my tears i said "i'm sorry" to each of them.  and goodbye.  goodbye red.  goodbye flash.  goodbye lois lane.  goodbye isabella.  goodbye nico.  goodbye nellie.  goodbye singer.  we loved the time you spent here.

we have hope that we may find venus, clementine, and luna by the light of day.