yoga

thursday i took a yoga class.

and i'm going again next week.

now my "yoga pants" actually are yoga pants.  not just busy, un-showered mom pants.

the yoga class is momentous because this is this first time since i've had a family that i have put a recurring event on our calendar for Me that is not work.

even though i had been planning on going to this class for weeks, waiting for all the kids to be in school and scheduling my work around it, i had a hard time getting myself in the door of the studio.  i kept thinking of all the things i needed to do. all the other ways i could spend that hour and a half.

a new goal for myself is to keep a beginner's mindset.  it seems so important to me.  when i can admit that i am truly a beginner at something, i can laugh at myself, ask questions, and really listen for answers.  have you ever not asked a question because you thought "i should know this"?  i do it all the time.  but i wish i didn't.

yoga is great for reminding me i am a beginner.  i have done yoga in the past, but it has been years.  and then it was bikram yoga - hot, power yoga that is exhausting in every way.   the new class was  yoga foundations - slow paced, i don't see how i'll ever lose the "baby weight" doing this, yoga.  For half of the class my mind was racing, focused on everything but what i was doing.  i thought "please let me like this class because i cannot spend more time searching for another studio that has a beginner class at this exact day and time so that i can pick the kids up from school without being the mom who's always late."

i started to break a sweat (from worrying, not from working hard) and then the instructor said this: "let's focus our yoga today on an expression of celebration.  what do you have to celebrate?  remember, you don't have to have big things to celebrate.  sometimes small things are the most vital.  if you feel you don't have much to celebrate today, celebrate that you are able to stand here.  celebrate the strength within you.  celebrate that you can breathe in and out.  and let that be enough."

and i realized all i have to learn (or re-learn) about slowing down to connect with myself.  in a moment my whole day was changed.  i stood taller thinking of my own strength.  i shook off the worry, i cleared my mind, i focused on my body.  on my breath.  i celebrated being in that room at that moment. and it was enough.

in the end, i did love it.  i can't wait to go back.